NOT YET TO ALHAMDULILLAH BUT AT INSHA ALLAH

April 12, 2010 at 3:07 pm (Uncategorized)

As Salamu ‘Alaykum,

I am not yet at the point in my spiritual growth in Islam where I can say Alhamdulliah from the heart when pain or trials come; Alhamdullilah, I am at the point where I can say,” Insha Allah.”

I walked down to the library today which is only twelve blocks. A quarter of the way there my cracked vertebrae was really hurting. I realized that as I was continuing to walk I was focusing my heart on Allah and thinking,” Insha Allah.” I thought about this and realized that I have reached the point on the path where ,when blessing coming, I can say Alhamdulillah; however, I can only accept the trials and say Insha Allah. So, Alhamdulillah, I can honest say the above. I strive for when, Insha Allah, I reached the point where I can also praise Allah for the trials.

I understand the old Western Reverts can be trying because of our Cultural Memes and less than precise use of language, but, Min fudlak/fudlik, keep me in your dua. As a Revert my destination is the same; however, my initial departure point is vastly different from those who are born into Islamic Families. Neither is better than the other because each entered Islam as Allah Willed (not that anything could be otherwise), but different.

In my experience, I talk more than those who have enter Islam by way of Family (since really we all enter by way of birth initially). And, because of my life experiences and age, I am able to extrapolate what I learn elsewhere and through juxtaposition with the Truth of Islam, I am able to, over a short time, realize what was correct in my past knowledge and what was incorrect.

Please believe me ,when I seem like I am being egocentric or egoistic, it is just that I realize that you have no way of knowing who it is that is typing this and, therefore, out of a desire to convey who I am, I often talk to much about myself. If I daily had other Mulims to interact with perhaps I wouldn’t be trying to bond with you my Ummah (forgive me if I used that word incorrectly, or spell words incorrectly.) I am intelligent, Alhamdulillah, and university educated, Alhamdulillah, but I was initially a teenage high school drop-out in the military with not a very bright future outside of the military, Alhamdulillah, Allah allowed me through his blessing to me to receive a GED in the military as a Sargent, and then be excepted into on of the excellent Universities in The United States. Consequently, I had not been “tracked” (a technique used in the 50’s to 70’s of testing children early and based on IQ tests “tracked” from 1st grade into either a university education or a blue collar training. I, Insha Allah, initiallly,scored very low on my IQ tests because before it was administered the test the teacher said when we finished we could go play. I just filled in the oval spaces by A-E and finished in minutes and was the first one out to play. In the military, I scored much higher. And, because of my interaction with intelligent and educated medical professionals while in the military, I was able to score consistently over the top two percentile. Alhamdulillah. Allah effortlessly makes a way where humans see no way. Alhamdulillah. Islam and TTI has been such a blessing to me. Insha Allah, I have little “real world” contact with Muslims because of Insha Allah. But, I say Alhamdulillah for TTI where I can compensate for what must have been a real trial pre-PC age. I have a very long way to go and no idea how much time I have to get there, but I have come a long way.

Thank You for all of your wisdom, patience, knowledge, and Islamic Experience. It makes being a revert so much easier.

Was Sallem,”